Saturday 11 May 2013

sunrise



‘even after all this time
the sun never says to the earth,
“you owe me.”
look what happens
with a love like that –
it lights the whole world’

-Hafiz

i have seen the sun rise over the village of mwandi in zambia for all but a handful of mornings in the last nine weeks. every morning i get up before the sun, throw on my shoes, and walk towards a burning red ball of fire rising behind silhouette trees.

it is breathtaking. every. single. time.

sometimes it’s so pretty it makes me cry, and when i cry about pretty things i can’t help but think about my mum. i once saw her cry because she thought a cupcake was beautiful. weirdo.

wonderful weirdo.

the sunrises i like the most happen when there are clouds in the sky. the colours get thrown in different directions, and it doesn’t matter how big the clouds are, the sun finds a way to make itself seen.

sometimes we don’t realise how beautiful life is until there are some clouds...and we take the time to notice that in the midst of cloudiness the sun still rises. every day it still rises. and not only does it rise, but it uses the clouds to make its rising quite beautiful indeed.

i have seen about sixty sunrises in africa these past 9 weeks. sometimes the sky has been clear, sometimes there have been wispy clouds, sometimes there have been dark clouds. sometimes i have seen the sun rise with joy in my heart, sometimes i’ve been sad, sometimes i’ve been too distracted by my ipod to notice its every detail. but i know that the most beautiful sunrise i saw happened on a cloudy day...i guess the job of light is to make even the cloudiest of times somehow beautiful. this is what i have discovered.

i was very sad when i embarked on this journey six months ago. i have discovered happiness and joy in unexpected places but there are parts of my heart that still grieve deeply. it is mothers day tomorrow and for the first time in my life i won’t have a mother to share this day with. i was supposed to be in africa for another month, but my heart has been sick for home. my dad has been doing a great job being both a mum and a dad...so he’ll be my mum for mothers day...we will laugh and cry and maybe i’ll force him to try and make scones.

i came on this journey to finish writing a book that i started about five years ago. with a heavy heart i began writing after having had a two-year break from the seemingly never-ending project. i wrote about things i knew and loved, and occasionally about things i wish i knew and loved better. in the biggest miracle since the invention of the doughnut i finished my book, and i found out just the other day that a company in melbourne wants to publish it. in my darkest and saddest months, somehow a beautiful light was able to make itself seen and i find that another one of my dreams has inexplicably come true. the moment was so beautiful that it made me cry.

may you discover a light and love today that will change your cloudy world.

i’m home now for a few months before my adventuring continues later in the year. there are more stories to come...i plan to ride my bike from seattle to LA (about 2000km) some time in august...so that should make for some funny anecdotes. for now, i’m enjoying sunrises and doughnuts and i thank you from my heart’s bottom for joining me these last six months.