trains...

1/2/13 - 13:10 - varanasi, india

it all started when lisa and i innocently pre-booked some trains for a quick adventure in north india. i booked 4 train trips...a total of 42 hours on trains...and it cost me $20. bargain, i thought, as i gave myself a high-five for being so thrifty. i should have known better.

we had hoped to book some of the higher class trains, but found out quickly that all 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd class services were fully booked.  apparently every 12 years in a small town outside of varanasi there is what our lonely planet described as “the world’s largest human gathering.”  70 million Hindus gather. in one place. at one time. in jan/feb 2013. excellent. this will all make for a great story when it’s over.

so, along with 70 million of our closest friends, lisa and i boarded a train in delhi and headed for varanasi.

i will never be able to do this experience justice with the written word. how does one use words to paint a picture of an odour? the carriage we boarded smelled, in equal parts, like urine and unhappiness. i immediately instructed my bladder and bowels that they were to be non-operational for the proceeding 19 hours. they lasted 7 hours before they realised there was 2 of them and only 1 of me. in short, a revolution was staged. i fought well, but i lost soundly to the demands of my bladder. what followed is something i hope to be able to work through in therapy and share with you all at a later date. moving train...small hole in the ground...and the smell...urine and unhappiness were on steroids in there. i really can’t talk about this.

as the sun set, we prepared ourselves for bedtime in our sleeper class train (ironically titled as it turns out). the temperature dropped about 30 degrees. all the indians seemed to know this would happen and pulled out big fluffy blankets. i had a sheet. my feet quickly went numb, and remained that way for the next 12 hours. it was a truly horrific night. at one point the smell inside the carriage got overtaken by a stronger smell outside...as if that was even possible! i closed my eyes and tried to breathe slowly through my mouth using my sheet as a filter. useless. i noticed that my cheeks were damp. the smell was so bad it had made my eyes water. IT MADE MY EYES WATER!!!

i was looking forward to this train trip...sure that it would make for a funny story. the lesson i have learned is that i am probably getting too old to do things just because they’ll be funny one day. having said that, i board my next train in 6 hours and head for agra (12 hour journey)...and lisa and i found out a few days ago that they have only booked one seat for us...so that should be funny...right?

i hope the taj mahal is worth it.